My mom only had one eye. I hated
her, she was such an embarrassment.
My mom ran a small shop at a flea
market.She collected little weeds and
such to sell, anything for the money
we needed she was such an
embarrassment.There was this one
day during elementary school. I
remember that it was field day, and
my mom came. I was so
embarrassed. How could she do this
to me? I threw her a hateful look and
ran out. The next day at
school..."Your mom only has one
eye?!" and they taunted me.
I wished that my mom would just
disappear from this world so I said to
my mom, "Mom, why don't you have
the other eye?! You're only going to
make me a laughingstock. Why don't
you just die?" My mom did not
respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but
at the same time, it felt good to think
that I had said what I'd wanted to say
all this time.
Maybe it was because my mom hadn't
punished me, but I didn't think that I
had hurt her feelings very badly.
That night...I woke up, and went to
the kitchen to get a glass of water.
My mom was crying there, so quietly,
as if she was afraid that she might
wake me. I took a look at her, and
then turned away. Because of the
thing I had said to her earlier, there
was something pinching at me in the
corner of my heart. Even so, I hated
my mother who was crying out of her
one eye. So I told myself that I
would grow up and become
successful, because I hated my one-
eyed mom and our desperate
poverty.
Then I studied really hard. I left my
mother and came to Seoul and
studied, and got accepted in the
Seoul University with all the
confidence I had. Then, I got
married. I bought a house of my own.
Then I had kids, too. Now I'm living
happily as a successful man. I like it
here because it's a place that doesn't
remind me of my mom.
This happiness was getting bigger and
bigger, when someone unexpected
came to see me "What?! Who's
this?!"... It was my mother...Still with
her one eye. It felt as if the whole
sky was falling apart on me. My little
girl ran away, scared of my mom's
eye.
And I asked her, "Who are you? I
don't know you!!!" as if I tried to
make that real. I screamed at her
"How dare you come to my house
and scare my daughter! Get out here
now!" And to this, my mother quietly
answered, "oh, I'm so sorry. I may
have gotten the wrong address," and
she disappeared. Thank good ness...
she doesn't recognize me. I was quite
relieved. I told myself that I wasn't
going to care, or think about this for
the rest of my life.
Then a wave of relief came upon
me... one day, a letter regarding a
school reunion came to my house. I
lied to my wife saying that I was
going on a business trip. After the
reunion, I went down to the old
shack, that I used to call a
house...just out of curiosity there, I
found my mother fallen on the cold
ground. But I did not shed a single
tear. She had a piece of paper in her
hand.... it was a letter to me.
My Son,
I think my life has been long enough
now. And... I won't visit Seoul
anymore... but would it be too much
to ask if I wanted you to come visit
me once in a while? I miss you so
much. And I was so glad when I
heard you were coming for the
reunion. But I decided not to go to
the school.... For you... I'm sorry that
I only have one eye, and I was an
embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little,
you got into an accident, and lost
your eye. As a mother, I couldn't
stand watching you having to grow
up with only one eye... so I gave you
mine... I was so proud of my son that
was seeing a whole new world for
me, in my place, with that eye. I was
never upset at you for anything you
did. The couple times that you were
angry with me. I thought to myself,
'it's because he loves me.' I miss the
times when you were still young
around me.
I miss you so much. I love you. You
mean the world to me. My world
shattered! Then I cried for the person
who lived for me. My Mother.
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